On this blog we talk a lot about apps for kids, app development, app marketing and more apps. As we proceed into year three at Moms With Apps, I want to be careful about the messages we’re sending. On our “about” page, there is a purpose statement that includes the following:
To advocate for healthy intersections of technology & family life, where technology becomes an interactive tool for real life, and not a screen to hide behind.
What defines a “healthy” intersection of technology and family life? Where does Moms With Apps stand on how much is too much, or what amount is reasonable?
Several colleagues are encouraging me to be more direct on this topic, and to stop hiding behind my objectivity. I’m trying really hard to listen to these folks, and my notepad is showing it. The back of my napkin is tattered with prospective post titles, such as:
- “No, you can’t have my iPad”
- Coping with Adversity
- Making Your Media Plan
- Parenting is Not a Spectator Sport
- Are We Outsourcing the Formative Years?
- There is No Substitute for a Good Conversation (originally titled, “What’s So Important About the Palm of Your Hand?”)
So as I sit here looking at this list, bursting with thoughts and feelings and experiences that define what I feel is “right” about parenting – I get a little nervous. What if I’m wrong, or patronizing – or worse: hypocritical?
Then I look at my girls, ages 6 and 8, out on the soccer field. (I’m one of those moms who tries to play it off like I’m really cool and casual, but as soon as my kid has the ball I’m off the seat at full volume with “Get IN There Colette!!!!”) I don’t really care where they kick the ball, as long as they go for it and get involved in the game.
It’s a crazy feeling when you learn lessons from your own kids.
Lorraine Akemann | Editor | Moms With Apps
Nice thoughts.
Particularly liked “I don’t really care where they kick the ball, as long as they go for it and get involved in the game.”
-SV
Your comments really resonated with me this morning. We see so many families come through our clinic; moms or dads on their phones, kids plugged into some bit of electronica. That’s why I always smile when I see kids playing on the slide out on our porch, tumbling, laughing and just goofing around.
We used to keep a one hour rule for TV viewing in our house. You could watch whatever you wanted (pretty much) but you only got an hour each day. Well, that morphed to include video games pretty quickly. But putting a limit on it made it even more appealing. It’s kind of like saying you can have a cookie, but ONLY one. Cookies get to be even more special. We eventually said, go ahead watch TV, but you owe us as much time reading as you spend with the Tube. Our kids are grown now and they probably spend as much time as most people do in front of some screen, but they’re also avid readers.
I’d be nuts to claim cause and effect, but from what I’ve seen so far, environments with lots stuff to try in different forms and ways make for resilient, adaptable and happier people. Our apps may be the bright, shinny new thing today, but they’ll likely not be around in the “toy box” as long as a slinky, legos or a bouncy ball. The good ones will last and there will always be another “new” thing to command our attention in our ad hoc balancing act of living and growing.
@PixelMat – ha yes – AYSO is a good teacher. 😉
@Chris – I appreciate your comments. I also smile when I see kids out and about, and alternatively feel a little concerned when I see too many mobile screens as the choice when there are other choices around. We have the cookie effect too. My kids get 30 mins a day during the week, and a movie on the weekend. They sure look forward to this, and I wonder if ‘limiting’ was the right thing. But what I like is that they play, converse and problem solve – which seems to be paying off in the school setting. Hard to say which end works, and I’m sure each family has their own dynamic – but good to be starting the conversation.
Lorraine
Great topics raised, as always, Lorraine. Your line at the end about “getting involved” — really resonates with me, too.
I hope you get in the game of helping to guide other parents on this huge question of how to guide our kids to a healthy “digital diet”. And even if the ball gets kicked into the patronizing or hypcritical corner here or there, I think all of us parents will still be grateful for moms with apps guidance, insight and perspective!
@Lynette & @Manuel – Thanks for getting me over the hurdle! And this is a great month, because I get to see both of you in short order. 🙂
As you’ve said, each family has its own dynamic.
The point I think that is important is that you, as parents, are the “example”. If you watch TV , your iPad or Mac all day long, there is much more probability that your kids will do it as well (hmm perhaps it is not completely true because they see me working all the day and they don’t work all the day 😉 ) .