Women and Men

Last week I was offered first right to refusal on the dadswithapps.com domain, and it got me thinking. A week later at 2:53am (darn that insomnia) I’m still thinking. How would Moms With Apps be different with a Dad at the helm?

Do you remember the article Michael Arrington wrote about women in Silicon Valley? Let’s see if I can dig it up. (OK, per Google search, I need to wade through all of the recent chatter about Arrington.) Ah, here it is, the one about women: “Too Few Women in Tech? Stop Blaming The Men.” http://techcrunch.com/2010/08/28/women-in-tech-stop-blaming-me/.

After two years at Moms With Apps, my reaction to this article is different from when I first read it. In this blog post I’d like to analyze the evolution of that reaction, and explain the benefit that can be derived from his original statements.  So much can be understood by examining how we (women and men) set our priorities.

Different Priorities

Every family has basic needs to meet. Most traditionally, they include bread-winning and child-rearing. Families meet these needs with their own unique combinations. Some moms work, some dads work, some moms stay home, some dads stay home, and/or some daycare providers are employed. Whatever the combination, someone needs to be responsible when a child is too sick to go to school, because you can’t leave a small sick child home alone.

In my case, we send my husband to work, and I stay home with the kids. When they are at school, I can blog about apps. When they are home, I am free to focus on family obligations. I’m fortunate to have these options. These are the priorities we have chosen as a family, and it works well for our situation.

When I first read Michael Arrington’s article, which was right around the time MWA was establishing momentum, I got a little huffy and took it as a personal challenge: “Well, there should be more women in Silicon Valley, I’ll be darned!” But notice I said this from the comfort of my own home, and took zero initiative to apply to a start up program.

Different Work Styles

Meanwhile, I got addicted. I created hundreds of blog posts, wrote on over 1000 topics in our forum, and twittered away like a social media maniac. I was kind of like Thomas, a very useful engine.

During almost any discussion with fellow app developers, the men/dads would ask how I planned to monetize Moms With Apps. “So what’s your plan? What are you getting out of it? What’s in it for you?” They fidgeted so much with their questions, that the fidgeting became contagious.  Now I ask myself the same things and continue to contemplate the models: Membership fee? Ad network? Affiliate revenue? Publishing? Sponsors?

But I don’t contemplate for long, because sooner or later, my kid gets sick, or my husband goes on a work trip, or there is a school holiday – and I prioritize the family matters so the household runs smoothly.

In the above scenario, it’s clear that my priorities are different from the men asking the questions. There are women I’ve met who align more closely with the men’s priorities, and they are making tremendous progress.

If I prioritized differently, I don’t doubt there would be plenty of opportunity to get involved in the start-up culture of Silicon Valley – all I need to do is start trying. I wonder how many women are out there, wondering, but not acting. Is the inaction due to family obligations, or self-confidence, or both? Realize what it is, and move through it, like a really useful bulldozer.

Together, we do just fine

As of November 2011, the Moms With Apps forum has over 800 moms, dads, individuals, reviewers, small companies, and large companies participating in a conversation about family-friendly apps. We don’t spend much time talking about our gender. We focus our energies on creating products for kids, and how to best succeed in the app marketplace.

The app development community continues to grow in all directions. I don’t admit people into our forum based on momness, I admit them based on the family-friendly intentions of their products and services. It turns out that app developers are a diverse bunch – and we have genders and ages and specialties from all around the world.

We all make choices and have priorities. I believe anyone can actively participate in this economy, depending upon each person’s goal and their willingness to go out and obtain it.

Looking back on Mr. Arrington’s article, I’m glad he spoke out. In a way, his words motivate me to keep moving.  Whether we are “moms with apps” or “dads with apps” shouldn’t make too much difference, as long as we all decide to keep showing up.

Lorraine Akemann | Editor | Moms With Apps